i think about all the shit we've gone through,

and i remind myself we're together in this, me and you,

and no matter how much it hurts i know at the end of the day,

how much it would kill me inside,

i'll give up everything for you,

because its you and me against the world.

how scary is that shit?

the script

n'awww :-)

yesterday i was abandoned in town :(, ellie made me miss my bus and i couldnt get another until 7ishh. so i was alone on queen st. (not a good place to be alone wen its gettin late) and josh just appears on his bike. so i was like OMG and he said he wasnt gunna let me hang around wen its gettin dark on my own, and that he wanted to see me anyway. see he's goin to france next week :( then its summer....

...

:) he told me i was prettier than megan.

and thats something HUUUGE for me

you should've seen this kid he was so fuckin' unreal

hilary duff (again)

Darcy wrote on Nancy's wall:
onee day we'll get arrested- but dw, i will be sitting next to you saying "damn we fucked up"......
or maybee "i fucking told you so!" :D

london, paris, maybe tokyo?

pink

I was at the Wireless Festival last night!!

i actualyy think im still kinda hung over :/ i dunno, my first festival and my first hang overr :D, whatta awesome weekend. got kindaa addicted to chocolate mouses thoee, maybe thats a dodgeey side effect- theyre a couple of days outta date thoe, and they got a bit of a KICK. day off school, vodka orange, insane music and everyone was proper raavin :). missed josh thoe, and everyone at school - kept calling them, how insane? a day off and i feel like im missing something really close to me.
still- it was IMMENSE ive never evenn been to a club before and yesterday i was at a festival! aaaaahaha, awesomeness! Pink was INCREDIBLE, like actually amazing, i'll do a whole post on her later i just had to get this out :DDDDDDDDDDDD. goin out in a minutee, gotta get in the shower ;)
how do you sleep while the rest of us cry? how do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?

MISSING ANDY

And he would always tell me, "dont start a fight, but if it comes your way, fight for your life." We never go to church but sometimes we pray

Its just the way we were made, just the way we were made.

I'm made in england, i call it my kingdom, but i'm still standing proud, even as every town has fallen down to its knees

hillary duff

Beach was good, wel you knoe, good wen youre me :). Its never really easy, but its okay. Happy days, its nice to be happy, nice to forget like, 'cause some days I forget, sometimes. With Josh I forget, I forget for hours. Mizz aand Freya askedd me on the bus if i love him like.... hell i dont knoe, i dont knoe what love is, but then they started asking questions.... "Do you think about him all the time?" "Does he give you butterflies?" aaand all i could really say was... i love it when hes close, my heart beats, and i cant believe he's here with me, all i'm doing is thanking every star that theres him+me. That seemed to be enough for them :/

Give me an dancefloor, give me a DJ, make me record,

forget what they say, 'cause I need to go,

I need to get away today.

EMINEM-

tom said to me yesterdayy-
"you know youre like the only normal one around here" and i turn around to look at him like "I'm NORMAL?" :O

:D, i swear andy has like every girl in the world after him now, mizz JUST got over him, meganRo, is in love with him i swear, freyaa is just obsessed and the only girl he likes really dontt want anything to do with him... ahh isnt life harsh?

poor dude :/

its kindaa tiring having 75% of the people you see everyday hate you, aand the 50% that dont mind me werent here today, and tommorow i have to go off with all these people who want me to die, great.

josh is lovely thoee, :) considering most of his friends hate me, hes very bravee.
Beach tommroe with 90ish people who pretend i dont exist and want it that way, how spectacular. A whole day of geography and being invisible/dirt, you cant imagine my joy. As you can see im being overly sarcastic, but I really shouldnt complain, everyone has it worse.
I'm heading to my da's after thatt, megans been there all week, jeesh its gunna be weird seeing her again. I dont want to be scared right now, my life is so messed up, and weirdly all im doing is wondering where God is..
Random right? I know, but you hear these stories about people getting hope from God when stuff gets real bad.. I'm not sure whether to expect anythin.. ahh im so selfish.

Just as i wrote that i was listening to eminem-i'm not afraid, and its weird, 'cause the lyrics proper flooded into me, and its like i was thinking, "all i have is the music" and then i realised it was enough. Maybe this is my "help" you know?

Okay this week is just getting weirder and weirder.

Now i just cant keep living this way, so starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage.

I'm standing up, imma face my demons.

I'm manning up, imma hold my ground,

I'm standing up, imma put my heart back together right now.

as he smoked his last cigarette

lost and insecure, you found me, you found me.

hhhhhhmmm.. odd days. Kindaaa feeling, sad. all the time like :(, feeling like this, its baaad. Josh makes me feel better thoee, alot of the time. but i'm worried, worried about fimiyo.

fimiyo is joshs mate, best mate maybee i dont really know. he hates me, like actually wants me to die. he slaps me alot and bashes me about and shit. and its kindaa weird, josh didnt used to do anythin, which was in a way, a better situation, 'cause thenn at least i knew. but now hes like "i'll punch him if you want" i havee a feeling dan (big brother) mightvee sed sumthin to him about it, gay.

and he says stuff to, worse than the otherr guys. hes like "shlaaag, get over here", "shut up you tramp", "oi retard".. wateverr... just gotta do nuuuthin XD, i'll be finee